On A Neck, On A Spit

heylittlejess:

true facts:
1) my partner and i have discussed being poly.
2) we do not want to be poly at this moment.
3) we have discussed the reality of not writing off polyamory in the future.
4) see #2
we are both queer, radical by most definitions, and anti-marriage. i have been in poly relationships, she has not. we don’t believe that monogamy or polyamory is better/worse or more/less successful than the other. by being monogamous but not legally bound to one another, we have never (and will never) put any money into a system we do not support. our relationship may be closed, but this does not mean it is heteronormative. 

(in fact, our relationship is very much the opposite of anything normative. i won’t go off on a tangential genderqueer invisibility + femme invisibility rant, but by most of society’s standards, we hardly exist as individuals, much less as a couple.)

we have openly discussed our needs and desires in our partnership, and we’ve agreed that we are not interested seeking anything else outside of it at the moment. so we have communicated desire and made consensual choices. let’s review: communication, desire, choice, and consent are important in healthy relationships, yes? yes!

so, my dear polyevangelist queers and non-queers alike: next time you find yourself writing off a monogz partnership as “less than” please step back and remind yourselves that choice is always what matters most. alleged allies need not write us (or anyone) off as heteronormative, or as not ___ enough. we are taking care of ourselves, and our relationship is no less “radical” - and certainly no less queer - because we are monogamous.

…all consensual relationships are valid. the end.

I definitely could have written this. I mean luckily such people (polyvangelists) have not really been a deal lately, but yes my experience is almost identical.